奇速英语

女儿被同学欺负，父母应该怎么做？

Ten years ago, my daughter came home from school and told me some classmates made fun of her. My immediate reaction was to tell her that if anyone ever did that to her again, she should punch(拳打) them in the face. That was really bad advice. What my daughter needed me to teach her was how to deal with uncomfortable feelings. That’s what your daughter needs too. Here are three tools your daughter can use that are better than a punch when someone makes her uncomfortable.

A safe place

If your daughter has an uncomfortable experience with her classmate, she needs to know it’s safe to talk to you about it. That means you won’t dismiss it as nothing. You need to communicate to her that she isn’t alone, that she is loved, and that you believe her. This creates a safe place for her to deal with uncomfortable feelings.

You can’t control your daughter’s choice of friends at school. However, you can work to surround her with positive relationships. These can be extended(扩展了的) family relationships, church friends, sports teams—people you know are working to build your daughter up. You can’t completely let her stay away from people who will make her uncomfortable. But you can encourage her to spend time with people who will encourage her.

Practice

You can encourage your daughter to respond in these difficult situations by practicing with her. Running through potential situations can make her prepared so she feels like she has tools when she finds herself in a difficult situation and wonders how to deal with uncomfortable feelings. For example, you could ask your daughter to share a time a classmate made her uncomfortable. Then ask, “What could you have done or said in that time to create safety?” It’s important not to make her feel guilty as though this was her fault. Rather, by talking through it, you can help her imagine effective ways to respond.